I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
