I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Alive.
So much puke
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
