I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
