I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
