I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
