Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
