I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
