i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
