guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
