i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
