We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
