I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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