Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
