Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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