thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
