apparently the secret to your success is patron
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
