She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
