he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
