HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
