im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You need a sexual gate keeper
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
