Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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