Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
