toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
