Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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