what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
