no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
