Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
