One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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