ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
