My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
