the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
