laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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