I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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