got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
