Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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