I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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