what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
