PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
