This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
