You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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