Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
