Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
