we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
