then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
