Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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