OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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