I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Can I color on your dick again?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
