She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
