what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
