I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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