I love black thongs
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
