Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
