we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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