I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
